Monday, November 1, 2010

My Colleague-in-Chief is the Bishop of the LARGEST Lutheran church in North America, just like he points out in the first line of the tape!  

We here at the Brave New Church Headquarters were thrilled to participate in this popular movement!  In fact, in light of our many churchly woes we’re evening considering a full time partnership with the movement.  Then, all of our signs would read:

Just look at this selection of the fan mail our glorious leader of Free Love received from his amorous Facebook Fans!

        Bishop Hanson, I am so close to committing idolatry! 

               (so hawt!)

-          I love my congregation and the grater Church. 
                  (May I get you some cheddar, ma’am?)
-          Bravo, Bishop Hanson. And may God bless the ELCA. 
                  (God, we invite you into our threefold mission! Join us!)
-          Thank you Bishop Hanson, my heart is so full of love for our church. 
                  (who needs Jesus when you have the church!)
-          I praise God for the ELCA! 
                  (Our hands! Our work! Wanna join us?)
-          Like I needed another reason to love Bishop Handsome. I mean Hanson. 
                  (He’s so dreamy! Wait till you see in his pink cope I designed!)
-          God does not judge. Jesus like his father in Heaven did not judge either.He did not favor one over another but expressed Love as his father expresses Love. His love is all inclusive and does not wain upon persons or circumstance.Remember he came to set the record straight. The only true parts of the old scripture are where god is shown to be unpartial in his love. This is the heart of Jesus's message.God's love is for all his creation. 
                  (Don’t worry sir, Marcion died a long time ago!)
-          Now THIS makes me grateful to be in relationship with the ELCA!!!  

Naturally I’m surprised that I didn’t receive more fan mail since I’m obviously more in touch with the needs and popular culture at the BNC and beyond.  But either way, we accomplished our goal in determining who amongst you is the biggest Super Fan of the Brave New Church!  

As for the rest of you, if you did not add Bishop Hanson to your fanpage, speak favorably of him, "like" his video, or offer sweet lauds of honor upon his holiness, you can expect to hear from our headquarters in the next 1-3 months.


1 comment:

  1. Bishop Barbie:
    Could you please critique this unenlightened critique of the term, "B.C.E." in the introduction to last Sunday's first lesson?