I must say, I am in rare form this evening, in veritable tizzy while moving in and out of hysteria. Really, it must be His Holiness Bishop Mark Hanson. It took hours for Ione and his staff to offer him an alternative to hiding under his desk. Higgins realized just today that many, many so-called “Lutherans” are meeting in Ohio to discuss a new alternative church body. Now, now, my Pets, this does not mean an exciting new emerging church that you ought to pay heed. No, these naysayers are gathering to undermine all we have worked so hard for in our Brave New Church. They are dissenters, attempting at every corner to undermine our great state of institutional unity! It is a veritable sin-fest! It is all they wish to discuss - day in and day out, sin this and sin that. What sort of joy could they possibly reap from church membership whilst constantly facing such downers!
While I was informed they participated in a 40 Days of Prayer vigil leading up to this very unholy event, I would like to counter the spirituality and raise them 40. 40 hours, that is.
Now, my true and beloved friends in the Divine, I call upon you to ignore this silliness in Ohio and participate with us here at Higgins in a 40 Hour Meditation. Feel free to take breaks to sleep or eat, but as a whole, ignore any informational input. We here at Higgins shall take a meditation break as well. We shall inform you when the time is right about what has occurred. But in the meantime, bathe… no, marinate… these hours in prayer. It is essential.
Your new and spiritual mission? 40 Hours of Prayer. Starting tomorrow from the moment you wake up. I implore your best spirituality. Think upon true unity. It is truly what Jesus would want.