Selena threw a fit this morning cause I called her Serena. WTFrick? I tell her the Japanese can’t do their L’s… or is R’s… either way, she’s going through Sensitivity Training if she wants to keep on this ship.
Big news that Michelle Obama and 60 of her closest friends are in Spain on a $375K Bonita Va-catz-eeyon. Fox news is going bananas and I’d bet my last peso – wait, that’s Meheeco – that Rush is in a worse way than Selena.
My God, this is ridiculous. Michelle, take it from me:
The people want to see you succeeding. They want to experience success through you. Or me, in this case.
Just like the good old days when the old Roman Catholic priests would do the mass for the people. Now we’re taking regular vacations for them! Nice gig if you can get it.
So back in January all us Bishops went over to the Holy Land – Jordan and Palestine. I know, Prophetic, right? Check the pics sometime. I made sure everyone knew we were up there for meditation, study, and all that jazz. Between all the clubbing and sweet digs, we got a few photo ops. All of us got our blood tested – no not for holiness – for HIV/AIDS. Like any of us have that? But it looks good. Encourage everyone else – its like a game of follow the leader but this time, we're in it for blood. Death and suffering is bad, but AIDS is awful and Israel is worse.
Michelle, get your shiznat together. Rock your wardrobe and give some blood. The crowds will go wild – they’re thrilled you’re taking the vacation they can’t afford. I’ll be putting this on letterhead ASAP to the White House. Hopefully you get it overnight before vacay is over.
BTW, isn’t Malia pissed you made her stay with Daddy? The Bishops here at Higgins always leave their rugrats with the Bish who drew the short straw.